Escape

I would dream about Escaping…
BREATH
it was far away from my troubles
my heart aches
I escaped on the bus ride home
sitting next to the 300 pound man
smelling like hot fish…yet i
BREATH
intoxicating my senses with pines
and ocean drops
that
lingered in turquoise drifts
of freedom and elastic breeze
my heart would stop
fresh halt as i dreamt about…
Escaping
to a small house
at the foot of the Ocean
one bedroom, tin roof and a window
where everything was tinted
rose colored…mirage of desert sands
magis, and nubian sons
My door was a magical portal
where reality would
HALT
and respect my space…
BREATH
my tastes bud extended to the point
where i could TASTE Escape
where sensory eclipse sizzled in an Eastern sun
and January was HOT
mhhhh…i imagined blue birds, and
purple plants, and pink leaves
while i marched up the four story stairs
to my flat…
and dragged two kids, carried a baby and heavy bags
i wasn’t there, i was Escaping…
BREATH
to a far away land where i was Makeda
milking my skin with the finest oils,
spreading my seeds like the flow of the nile
sweetening my flower with Juniper incense
as i draped lazily on the spiritual tableau
waiting for my Pharaoh…
And as I slaved over a hot stove
and lay under a sweating husband
spreading my legs for his own escape
i would imagine myself under water
in a reef filled with golden spells
and aquamarine bubbles,
i would touch the sole of the earth
encasing myself in wisdom and pride
drinking wine with daylight and night
floating under water, in a cold gray bath
Breathing…

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Friends

She played mind strings with my hair
trumpet with my heart
sowed songs of insurrection
that laid seeds in my voice
calling on wind pipes
stuffing syllables with air
she strove through my wishes
engraving road flowers in my bed
and when i dreamt
it was of tomorrow
laced with the promises she lended
i was taken with her smile
sending beads of light to my soul
i was in her like sunshine in the air
proud, intimidated, delicate, without a care

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Upon Knowing

It is said of man that the moon
dressed him and gave life to his dreams
and that the sun kissed him and pulled him from sleep,
one hour before rain clouds
screamed Salvation
i sat upon the edge of the world
fantasizing about death
and freedom, and Love…
i wrote songs with the salt of my tears
and cradled my insecurities to my chest
in wanton sweeps i shed all visionaries
and prophets
hailing for the crude images of my childhood:
Woman with crusted foot washing against
the banks of a river
Man with harsh over tones grazing
the beasts of the land…
and nothing fazed me in my solitude
intense with nothingness
and emptiness
i was filled the chi of the world
low force
optimum standings
i let go of everything i knew.

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Con-Sequence

I’m must set
with a dusty love
stinging the sky
with a musky thought
i rot set
with a jaunty slot
waking on rough sex
with costly joy
Blame out reck
i do not relate
games out rule
i cannot sustain
flame round you
and your instant state
I do you
with a rusty blade.

=======

No Hope

I could have talked her to death
with
stories of redemption
and emancipation
about the glory of her blackness
while caressing her face
with historical balm
about her people and
her victories
and her beauty and sensuality
i could have spit to her that
her people built Egypt
and that her sweat created the nile
but i just stood there
transfixed by her inner hatred
of self
for us
and them
while she slutted around with the
Nigger word
Fucking the Nigger mentality
with bootie shorts
and fat belly spilling out
with cakey mascara
and ruby red lip stick
making her look
young and fuckable
shaking down to Hot boyz
I could have held her close to me
and showed her that
you could keep it real
while wanting to be somewhere better
and that she didn’t have to settle
for miccy d’s
and finger licking good fast food chains
that only paid minimum wage
with no benefits for the future
I could have showed her that there was more to being black
than having a basket ball dream or a pop star
fantasy
and that all that glistened wasn’t always gold
that she didn’t have to feel ugly because her
skin was darker than the grocery bag
she used to carry home her
generic products, while wearing designer must have’s
carry home her baby indicator
another baby daddy, another no hope.

=======

Expired

I tried to love myself
through hip hop
and BET
and Halle Berry
I saw news flashes of
Blackness and darkness
and WACKNESS
I spelled Africa with
a K
all the while thinking that
my dreds would show them
how beautyful i really was
singing redemption songs
buying jill scot and
Lauryn thinking they
could validate my existence
I sought outside looking
in the eyes of those who
feared me, hated me, those who
despised me
for exceptence and congratulations
I never thought about letting them go
letting the poster images of dark girls
in the white girls bodies with the flat asses and the deprived physic go
and the black men with Puerto Rican hotties, thinking they were one upping on the sisters
and the white girls cuz they got a mixture,
fly by
and the 300 pound dark sister in the kitchen
loving somebody
always loving some one else part with me
I never thought that it was all a mass
conspiracy
that even my sisters and brothers
were in on it
That my whole family was caught up on the hype
on the fantasy that i didn’t exist.

 =======

African

She was beauty
with
African characteristics
long neck
etched out bone structure
elegant stature
heavy dark lashes…
standing in the corner,
i told her that she looked
African
like a queen or an eminent ruler
she thanked me
all the while looking
shocked
like no one had ever told her
before
she looked African an
unadulterated unequivocal beauty.

 =======

Connecting

Lets get together
dust amber ashes
from our minds
and
just
C-O-N-N-E-C-T
without clinging
expectations and
social moors
lets embarrass amber sunsets
that roll off the sapphire hills
without
contest
protest
I profess that
this
is
glorious that
this
is
prosperous that
this
is
bodacious
love made us
so lets not wait any longer
to just
sit
talk
and
C-O-N-N-E-C-T.

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Obsessing

Its an obsession this pain
i have for you
This rhythm in my mind
as the chirping of crickets
dispensed
distraught
deluded
in the night
Its an obsession the ways
my mind produce means of thinking
of you
the way my eyes seem to have countless
stored images of you on me
of me on you
It breaths separate
this rage in my heart
as if life couldn’t ever matter
as you do to me
you’re the only constant in my life
waking is unto you
sleeping is dreams of you
living is thoughts on you
Its an obsession
this feeling
this heart stem
this mood

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Lullaby

Downstairs upon a golden silhouette
lays the corners of peace like destruction
upheld by the breath of diamond salvation
embedded in clusters of warmth
I sit
not thinking that the sea is against me
or the wreath of life will choke my dream
i play in the sinew of depression
hung over a ruby stream
my heart
repeats the song of sand like pastures
revived by the winds i sip
my mind derived from cognitive grinders
Her voice delivers hope to me

 =======

Strutting

Emulating a love that isn’t
and couldn’t be where you are
stuffing the air with my ass
as i strut, to keep it clear
love isn’t here…

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All poems (c) Olubukola Kwegan