My mother was a kept woman.
It was something we knew. We – my cousin Meze and I. It was something we knew without being told, the sort of knowledge that creeps up on you and without announcing itself makes your acquaintance.
We knew and even though we didn’t deny it it wasn’t something we went screaming from the roof-tops.
And we preferred that those who had gained this knowledge kept it to themselves .
I got my first black eye the day Damian bared the naked rump of my secret before the whole school.
“Your mother is fucking somebody’s husband!”
It was enough to bring the bile to my tongue, the rage to the fore of my being and my fist slamming into his mouth.
When Damian saw a pre-molar fall out with the blood he spat out he’d screamed and turned my left eye into a camera flash bulb. I saw stars.
It was all my fault: the secret that had bared its rump; the premolar in the sand, the new milky way.
It was my fault. I’d just seen The Omen and for days I’d been needling Damian and calling him the anti-Christ.
How he tried to fend me off, to make me stop. But I was like an airplane drunk on Jet A-1. I wouldn’t stop.
And fed up, he had dredged up from the pit of his rage a sentence that ensured that I never looked my mates’ in the eye again.
“Your mother is fucking somebody’s husband!”
And it was all my fault!
* * * *
“Somebody’s husband” was Uncle John to Meze and I. Tall, dark, pot bellied and heavily bearded he cut the picture of a burglar.
But Uncle John was a gentle giant. Mild mannered and ever polite he gave the impression that he was somehow sorry for being so big. He never screamed and he never sent you on an errand without saying please.
He came to see my Mom twice a week. On Wednesdays and Fridays. He would come in at about 6.30pm. He would park his car in the garage we had and never used because my mother didn’t have a car. Then he would lift his bulk out of the car and walk into the house refusing to let me carry his bulging briefcase.
I would serve him water and he would ask about school if schools were in session or about the holiday if I was home.
“Evening Captain!” He would hail Meze.
He called my cousin captain because according to him he had served under a captain called Meze during the war.
“Good evening, Uncle John,” Meze would greet.
“I remain loyal,” Uncle John would say then rise to join my mother in the kitchen where she would be busy preparing a delicacy for his pleasure.
With Uncle John around my mother was a woman transformed. Flush with excitement she would sing old songs made new by the passion with which she sang them. Her laughter rang loud and was like music even to ears for which it was not meant and there was a bounce to her gait that slashed off years from her age.
There was magic in those heady, fun-filled moments they spent those two nights of the week.
And you could smell her despair even before you saw her the next day when Uncle John would leave. She would be grouchy and tetchy, snapping at nothing and speaking to herself even as she stared out into space.
And then I would sit and watch her and marvel at how something that brought her so much joy could sire such misery and dejection in its wake.
When they had played all the LPs and danced to all the songs, they’d rise and retire to my mother’s room. And once the key turned in the lock the bed would begin to creak.
* * * *
I never met my father.
By the time I was old enough to recognise faces and tell one from the other my father had disappeared wherever vagabond husbands and vagrant fathers fade into. He was gone and my mother had wiped him off her mind.
She never spoke of him. She kept no pictures, no keep-sakes to remember him by. I was the only reminder that there had been such a man in her life.
People who say absence makes the heart fonder never knew the kind of absence I knew. It was absolute. One that did not seem to exist because the presence that had been looked vaguer than the absence I lived with. I know nothing about my father. And I can’t tell whether the bed used to creak when he went in with my mother!
* * * *
We lived at No. 56 for so many years that I came to see it as home and even after we moved, because my mother couldn’t stand the crowd of memories that assailed her, I came to see the other places we lived in as strange abodes. I felt and continue to feel like an alien in a foreign land: a radicle in search of its own clump of earth.
No 56 was large and like all big houses had it s fair share of gossips. We lived in front, in a two bedroom flat. A tenement building stretched out behind us like a tail.
Everyone saw us; Meze, my mother and I as the rich ones. We were the ones who had a garage and could park a car if we bought one. We were the ones who never missed school because of unpaid fees and we were the ones who always had light when others didn’t because we could afford to pay our NEPA bills on time.
Our neighbours had conceived a perfect life for us, one that was free from want or lack. They knew the truth had a different face but the over-bearing misery of their own lives had blinded them to that other reality. So, to explain it away and bear up under the burden of their own lack and want they concocted a lie which served as a palliative for what ailed them.
But it was a fragile reality. One that came crashing the moment we stepped out of line or deigned to live as citizens of that world they said we belonged to.
Unsheathing their tongues they would flagellate us with verbal strokes that left lasting scars.
Their anger, like Jehovah’s rage kindled at the enemies of the Jews, burned against us at long intervals because linked closely to their awe was an incipient fear peculiar to all poor people, that sense of dread that leaves you feeling naked because you have nothing.
Then one day a neighbour’s wife had unsheathed her tongue and told my mother things that made her quake.
Her child had taken ill at a bad time (not that there is a good time for falling sick). Doctors were on strike, which meant that government hospitals were shut.
The lab diagnosed typhoid fever and the doctor at the private clinic demanded a deposit of two thousand naira. It was evening and rushing home from the hospital it was our door she knocked on first.
“Your mama, nko?” She asked.
“She’s not back from the shop,” I said and she had sighed, a drawn out expiration of air that seemed to drain the life out of her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked watching the tears escape her lids and slither down her face. “No worry,” she said and turned.
By the time my mother came in, her trip round the fourteen rooms in the compound had dredged up a miserly five hundred and twenty – four naira. She needed more if her child was to live.
Then my mother came back laden with provisions and food stuff.
Her plea was desperate and when my mother said she had no money her eyes had turned to blazing coals rescued from a smithy.
“My son dey for hospital. If I no carry dis money go, the boy go die. Abeg, help me.”
“Mama Chisco, I have no money on me. I have just finished shopping. I have only two hundred naira left.” My mother explained but her words only served to fan the embers of our neighbour’s desperation.
“Abeg, Mama Andrew. I take God beg you, save my pikin.” The woman cried.
“I can’t. I have no money, true.”
As we watched a change came over Mama Chisco. She took a step backwards. She dabbed at her eyes and then she loosened her tongue and spoke words that sent sharp darts into my heart and almost killed my mother. Words that echoed Damian’s words at the play ground. Words that spoke of old scorn curdled to hate. But it was her final words that packed the most bile.
“Okay, make I ask you one question, wetin you go do if that man wey you dey fuck, if im wife come here come catch you, eh Mama Andy? My pikin dey die and you no wan help me, eh. Why?” The woman wailed and crumpled to the floor.
My mother looked across at me. Our eyes met and I could read fear and desperation and shame in her’s. Then without a single word she walked out of the compound.
She was gone for less than ten minutes and when she returned she gave the woman a wad of naira notes; five thousand naira in all.
Her child survived but she never forgave herself. It took them six months to raise the money but my mother refused it and for years until we left they took to giving me money, small change, at well chosen intervals. They hadn’t become rich, they were merely making expiation for that sin.
And it was from them that I learnt that, some times, the verbal pains we inflict on others can scar us for life.
* * * *
My mother would have been happier if she were a widow. But a woman with a husband, who was not there, she looked more like a bat surprised by sunlight.
* * * *
When you’re fifteen and in the full grip of adolescence, your mother’s nakedness is not the best thing to behold.
So, when my mother ran out of her room stark naked and screaming at the top of her lungs I’d felt a stirring that leaves me flush with shame when I recollect it.
I found her a wrapper then Meze and I tip-toed into her bedroom. Uncle John lay naked, his bulk filling up the bed.
He was naked save for the condom that covered his erection like a shroud. Meze had covered him up while I stood there shivering and sobbing.
And today, years later when I think of that scene I remember two things – his condom-ed manhood and the thought that occurred to me before grief settled over me – his erection looked really small.
* * * *
We left No 56 soon after.
There were too many sniggers tugging at our sleeves as we walked past and many eyes that suddenly began to look every where else but at us.
And then Uncle John’s wife came to see the woman who had fucked her husband to death. “Where’s your mother?” she asked.
“She’s not at home.”
“So, your mother is the ashewo who killed my husband?” she asked before I shut the door on her and the neighbours that had gathered.
We left No 56 soon after.
* * * *
Today, Meze is married and my mother is dead. When her bed stopped to creak, her heart began to slow.
I am not married but once a week I visit a widow and act as father to her only son.
I wear a bushy beard, I nurse a small paunch and I carry an old and bulging briefcase in memory of the only father I knew.
Its a fine piece,Vintage Kan that I used to read in the 90s, funny and unashamed.
it’s a good piece educational as well as entertaining. It makes you think about the time you’ve hurt someone with your tongue ant the time someone has hurt you too.
Nice story with all the details employed to make this story a must read.
A sharply constructed story. I think the telling restraint is a virtue above the shamelessness of the story.
This story reminds me of tongues that wagged in the village about men that slept with widows and other men’s wives.Everyone knew it was a taboo, but you dare not be caught in the act by the elders who might have been guilty at some point in their lives but were not cut.
This story is in poor taste. I wonder why this writer is always interested in themes that do not elevate womanhood. His poems and short stories always objectify women as sexual playthings for men. Is he not tired of such themes after 13 years!
FAntastic,Mr.Toni.I LOVED IT
Actually wish its a book, waiting for the rest…
Oga mi, well done
I enjoyed reading it immensely, but I can’t explain why it left me feeling sad…
A fatherless child in Nigeria is hell; same can be said of a husbandless woman. This story is as emtional as it is educative. Tongues would have better been sheated with steel; life would have been less misreable. A most entertaining story, Toni Kan always delivers.
I think it’s a brilliant story. One that lacks the hypocracy that comes with majority of today’s tales. and no I don’t agree that the theme disses womanhood, rather it’s a reflection of what many single mothers go through and how soceity reacts to their plight.
Vintage Toni Kan.The much awaited short stories collection with same title is now out.I see this collection clinching all the available literary Prizes home and away.
Though Mr TonI Kan was not one of the people that lead he into being a writer, he alongside Chim Newton (I wonder where he is) played the role of endearing me to the writing art. This stry reminds me of the good old days of Hints magazine when their stories moves one to save even the torn copies of that jewel of our adolecence. As is shown here he has not lost his nack for telling it as it is, not minding whose panties are exposed. Mr Toni Kan is and will remain one of Nigeria’s most unrestrained writers. Though he is chopping the corporate Aircondittioning At Visapone he has left a legacy that prizes can’t match. Thanks for being you man.
A compelling story….leaves me wondering who i should pity…..the mother or the story teller……somehow, i think i’ll go with the mother
This story portrays a very characteristic Toni Kan if u ask me! Never too shy to bite with thematic pre-occupations such as revealed in this creaking story! Just that i’m of the opinion that the author might just have sacrificed the lives of his characters on the altar of keeping the subject-matter and theme moving. Senator Ihenyen is the author of Colourless Rainbow: Poetry of My Childhood (forthcoming, Coast2Coast).
sintillating you captured the essence and emotion of the characters. More Please!!!
cool piece…keep it up bro
you try o. engaging short story. makes me curious about the novel. and from one writer to another, good luck.
Funny,riveting and entertaining.It covers various themes, adultery,single motherhood, and ofcourse, gossip and hearsay.Words can kill, and so can sex.In this case.
I enjoyed the story, especially the end.Seeing the main protagonist become like the man who gave his mother joy.
It is like a breath of fresh air reading this story,far removed from some of the more pretentious political pieces purveyed by some.It is harsh reality,something that occurs in our society whether we decide to talk about it openly or sweep it under the mat of oblivion.I am also particularly pleased because the story shows we Africans are culpable of the same decadence and immorality that we attribute to our western counterparts.
Toni, keep up the good work
The story relives my experience. I thought i could restitute my late father’s unfair dealings towards his many women, so i went all out to give comfort to an abandoned woman and her two children. But i got a shocker when the woman treated me bad and i had to flee. I still love the children and i still reach out to them. Nice story.
You have demonstrated that you are the master of unrestrained language in these parts,more like a niche you’ve carved for yourself.Well done…
Toni, u just reminded me why it makes sense to keep stories short,precise and interesting than lenghty and all watered.
so much said in so few words, very impressive.
I love the way Toni Kan writes his short stories.This one in particular is quite touching.He depicts the emotional journey of a fatherless boy quite vividly.Well done Toni! I want ti be like you when i grow up…lol
From a lame man’s point of view, fantastic!
And what will you say about the Dbanjs, 9ice, Eldee,thasuspect and other artists that you ladies cant do without that objectiy women as sexual playthings for men in their songs? A beautiful story that is what I ll call Nights of Creaking bed.
If nothing else, Toni writes without looking over his shoulder
A very good story, reminiscent of the lives some of us either lived or witnessed growing up.
Words indeed are a powerful tool!
Makes for a good reading.
This is a philosophical story written with a style that is reminiscent of a cold refreshing shower after a sun-scorched day. It plays up to you like a bucket of water but drawn from a deep deep ocean. Toni Kan’s writings had always turned out simple and sound like a valued tinsel. Jeff Unaegbu is author of eight books, including Poetic “Ode on Lagos” of 700 lines.
This is an unbelievably great story
This is my 1st Toni Kan encounter but I say very realistic, very well done…definitely a seasoned talented writer.
Toni Kan, you have turned me into a fan!
I don’t know why we prefer to sweep things that happen in our communities under the rugs and refuse to address them. This things to happen – and we do need to talk about them so as to instill change, hopefully!
Kudos to the writer!
Well crafted stories from A-z. My course mates loved every bit of it. We used it for our CA last semester in Uni Abuja. Very explicit, no-holds barred. Well done Mr. Tee. More of such enthralling stories.
A fantastic read, I read the story as If I was present in the whole scene.
Don’t be hard on the author, it’s just his own personal perspective and not general. Come to think of it, did I hear you say 13? Then u must be a fan!
sad story but well written, keeps one going
I have always loved your writing s Toni and I’m a great fan. Please where can I buy WE-MEN? I used to own a copy until it was stolen from my house and I want it back. Any Idea? Thanks. My email ritaj28@yahoo.com just in case.
A magnified true-to -life story,with a feministic approach portrayed in a tended seductive atmosphere.
I find Toni’s piece very engaging. And the narrative style is awesome.
My, that was a beautiful piece. The language & style with which you described scenes & characters was captivating.
awww…. This piece is in fact the kind of writing that touches every part of reasoning
the suspense, the coordination, the bit explanation, all coming together to make a great piece….
I don’t know you nd this is the first piece from you that I have read, but I bet you some renowned writers needs to learn your techniques
well done!
nice story☺
I am moved. I’m deeply impressed by this inight to a childhood.
Superb! Vintage Toni…. The man of “Hints” a really nice read…
Nice indeed
reading this piece left my eyes covered in moist,it describes my growing up in a neighborhood where they thought my family was living the best life, reality set in after we moved to a better neighborhood where we didn’t even match up to societal standards.
secondly I realized how much words can do in anyone life. I feel a deep need to actually reach out to a friend and apologize genuinely . my words were so heavy that’s I just realized that after reading this piece. Thank you Mr Tony 💥